After completing the Mr and Mrs Quiz we were pleased to score 11 points and we learned we knew quite a bit about each other.
We learned that loyalty and feeling comfortable with each other were some of the key reasons we decided on marriage as the next natural step. We both learned that the main reason for us getting married was that we were bet tochange either person because ater as a team than as individuals. We realise that while we both have negative points and that we recognise this in each other we are prepared to take the rough with the smooth as we know that no-one is perfect.
Through completion of the booklet and watching the DVD we learned that honesty and open communication is very important. We both agreed that we don’t want nor expect marriage to change either person because we are marrying each other for the people we are now but are open to evolving with time. We can grow together in marriage. We learned it is extremely important to make time for each other during our busy lives. We learned that it is vital to share responsibility and make joint decisions. We also learned it is vital to try and be supportive and understanding of each other even when there is a difference of opinion. We both felt that the other would be a good parent as we agree on how we feel we should bring them up if we are blessed in this way.
We realised that it is important to find a healthy balance between spending quality time together with spending time with other family and friends. We agreed to work together at all times on financial matters and budgeting issues. Through engagement with the course and discussion arising from that engagement we realise that while having children would be important to us but if it didn’t happen we would be open to other possibilities. Arguments don’t solve problems but only create more issues and it is preferable to have frank and open communication and mature conversations. The family relationship and dynamics between in laws must be considered and we are lucky that both families are mutually supportive to us both. We both feel welcomed by our future parents in law.
Communication can be conveyed through body language as well as dialogue. We also learned the it is important for fathers to spend at least 1 hour with children playing daily in the formative early years as it helps children’s self esteem and confidence. Small and thoughtful acts of romance help keep the romance alive.
Jennifer Swail & Daniel Nixon
I think we learnt quite a bit from the program. First and foremost, we learnt that we seem to be well suited to each other.
There were no major surprises when we compared our answers for the different exercises and we both got good scores for each other on the first exercise. One thing that come out of the first exercise is that it both made us think a bit more about what we’d like to achieve in life so we learnt something ourselves and about each other. Aside from that, we both learnt a bit more about our respective families that we didn’t know before. We learnt that we probably need to bring a bit more romance back into the relationship (we’ve been together for almost 10 years) so we both agreed to make more of an effort in this area, particularly after we’re married. Learning about the ‘good’ way to have an argument (start of quietly, know the outcome, etc.) was good.
We rarely argue as we’re both quite passive and easy going and good at talking things through but perhaps on the rare occasions we disagree knowing a ‘good’ way to argue is a useful tool. Also, the 5 good interactions for every bad interaction is a good thing to aim for. Overall though, I think we were happy with how we got on. We think communication is key and we do communicate very well with each other. We have dinner almost every night at the table and leave our phones/tablets to the side, so getting each other’s undivided attention is very easy.
Kind regards, Garrett & Paula
We both learned that marriage is a partnership that will always need work, arguments are not always a bad thing and we can indeed have good arguments.
Suppose we always worried that any arguments were bad but the DVD helped us show a lot of people do! It highlighted the importance if the three main areas couples struggle, finance, power and communication. It showed us genuinely that we are working well on these parts. Financial situations and power are very equally shared out amount us. We are sensible “clever planners” so thankfully the money areas of our relationship. We really work well as a team and share power, in the last page of the workbook we picked 8 of the same!! However one area we both wanted to work on was communication. We find that it would be our weakness as a couple. But in the DVD something that hit home with us both was, one person can say something and the other person hears something else!
Also both john and myself work long and stressful jobs and sometimes can snap easily when we get home! We never identified before that that can be a result of the day in work we had!! Which was comforting, and we have promised to not start an argument with shouting… Quite first, something I need to adopt! Also we identified both our parents’ weaknesses to be communication with each other so essentially like you said we can pick partners with similar subconscious. Our families though overall we have a great long relationships so we should follow. Affection was another area we wanted to work on, I could relate to the girl in the DVD. John has a tendency to bottle up his feelings and I would automatically assume it’s me! But again it was great just to hear that this is normal, again we laughed and promised to be more open and not just keep it in. Also the points you made about after 3 years our hormones of “love” fad…
We definitely felt that, but our friendship, respect and love has allowed us to overcome the missing lust!! Family and starting a family is important to us, we do understand that both parents making time for the child / children playing emotionally and physically, we both understand it will be hard and time consuming and tiredness will be a massive lifestyle change! We don’t have children but when you mentioned about us teaching a child to act, rewarding both good behaviour not just always pointing out the bad! Just some good tips to take! Finally I loved the idea Niamh had to check in with each on the day! It is our wedding day so we should make sure to enjoy it!
We really have the patience, determination to make our relationship and marriage be long and happy! Overall we found it really interesting, it made us talk and spend some real time listening to each other…. And will be introducing the 1 minute gaze into each other’s eyes more often!
Thanks Emma & john
We found this to be very beneficial. It covered topics thoroughly, and offered some extremely helpful tips and stats from professionals.
They did an awesome job of covering conflict as well as trying to get your partners attention. They emphasize how it’s important to realize that no one is perfect and to stay mature. Also in marriage it is easy to blame your partner for issues you might be encountering together, but it’s extremely interesting to hear the psychiatrist say that most people’s marital issues stem from issues they had as children. Also it’s important to note that people tend to find spouses that are most like their parents, (both good and bad traits!).
With that said, couples must be careful to make sure we aren’t focusing on the negative traits and focus on how we can improve that aspect within our current relationship. Parents who criticize or push to overachieve leave kids with general anxiety, and can make them feel the need to overachieve in life, or think that things aren’t good enough. We feel this was a very important element. The last video was interesting.
We learned how families (in-laws) can affect your relationship with your partner and your kids. Although we are newly engaged, it’s extremely important element to emphasize and hone in on BEFORE we have children. This was a beneficial course, and loved the variety of content.
Thank you! Jennifer P. von Ruden
We both actually really enjoyed it… really made you sit and think and talk.
Since completing the course last week, we have found ourselves discussing issues rather than just doing. I still firmly believe our relationship is perfect – and by the answers compared, we do both think very alike which was nice to see also…. and we both want the same from our relationship and in our future together.
Eugene wouldn’t be inclined to show too much affection to the boys based on his childhood… but from watching the videos, he understands that it is ok, that it is necessary and that for our children to follow suit that it is important to show them from example. One thing I learned is not to use past examples in current discussions…. I am going to try hard to stop this in future! I actually think that it would be good to do the questionnaire every couple of years, as a refresher and reminder of what’s important.
Kindest regards, Ciara Parletti
We both learned that marriage is many things. Marriage is about compromise and putting your partner’s needs ahead of yours. Marriage is seeing your partner as an equal and making sure that each of you has a say in what is happening in your lives. Marriage is not always going to be a picnic but you need to move through the rough times as partners.
When it comes to conflict make sure that you are not saying always or never and you are not bringing up past arguments. Also, know that you need to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Your partner may not be in a positive mood because of something that happened at work or in their day. There are many things that also affect our marriage. For example our family and having kids. Through this all we need to always remember our love for one another and that we are both committed to our wonderful lives together. From the very first four pages there were things we did not know about each other. We really liked that because even though we have been together for 7 years it was something new that we were learning about each other.
We enjoyed the exercise in which we listed reasons we are getting married other than love. It was a challenging experience in which we highlighted our similar values, life goals and compatibility. We also liked the deserted island exercise. It really showed us that although we picked and ranked mostly the same objects, there were a few that we talked about and got each other’s perspective on. Lastly, we liked watching the additional video because it talked about how God ties into our relationship. Our marriage is about commitment just like God is committed to us. These exercises and videos had us talking about things that have not been said before. We talked about our parent’s relationships and our own relationships.
We talked about our goals and our needs from each other. Overall, we really did learn more about each other and what our future had in store for us as a married couple.
Thank you for emailing us back! We really appreciate it! Kayla and Justin
We are quite different people (we are definitely in the “opposites attract” category!) but a lot of our answers & responses ended up quite similar which was very reassuring to us both. I learned that my family had and still has more of an influence on me then I would have thought so now that I’m aware of it I can work on not letting it interfere with my relationship with Seamus.
Seamus found a lot of benefit in the communication section and while he was initially cringing at the scenes with the couple acting out scenarios it was a great way to demonstrate how an argument can spiral very quickly out of seemingly nothing. Nice fact in there about the tone of your voice being very important also.
To be honest (and maybe like a lot of couples) we were doing it because we “have to do it” and wouldn’t have opted to do this course if it wasn’t mandatory, but I’m really glad that we did. It definitely prepares you more for the realities of marriage, no matter how prepared you think you might be there is always something to learn.
Thanks! Ciara O’Hanlon & Seamus Farnan, Vancouver, Canada
We both feel we learned a number of things about each other that we perhaps weren’t aware of beforehand and a number of skills too.
For instance, we have an additional view as to why we are getting married. We understand that its not just about love, there are other elements. We learned how to work through disagreements and now understand that we may have been doing this incorrectly in the past.
We also learned that some of our traits in the relationship come from our parents. We learned that we come from tow different family types. however we both get on with our soon to be in-laws. (99% of the time anyway!!)
We think that we are already a good family unit (just the two of us) as we always share our burdens, financially and emotionally. Steve enjoyed the last task (MacGyver V Lost) as he watches far too much Bear Grills. We did learn from that task to compromise on some of the items the chose together that maybe we wouldn’t have beforehand.
Thanks & Regards, Debbie & Steve, Skerries, County Dublin
Myself and my fiance have just completed the online Avalon pre-marriage preparation course and I just wanted to thank you and say what a positive experience it has been. We were both so pleasantly surprised with how relevant, modern and comprehensive the course content was- not what we were expecting at all!
I had reservations at first about how meaningful it would be to complete an online pre-marriage course but now I actually feel it provoked a truly in-depth discussion between us as we worked through each section at our own convenience and took our time to chat about the various reflections that arose from each. The “his & her” workbooks were fantastic conversation starters!
The course has a really strong spiritual emphasis which was very important to me however, the guidance and advice from a range of experts was invaluable also. It strikes a perfect balance in preparing couples for the religious sacrament of marriage and the everyday challenges they are likely to face.
My only regret is that we did not complete the course sooner as the advice, videos and tools provided to help couples plan for a wedding would have been extremely useful in our early planning stages… particularly the budgeting tool!
I want to thank you also for how promptly you replied to any of my queries along the way. I will be recommending the Avalon pre-marriage course to any of my friends getting engaged without hesitation.
Niamh O Donnell
We found it extremely helpful!
The topics that were brought up for discussion were things that we didn’t realize we needed to talk about. It really helped us to understand each other better and how we can improve on working through differences. Thank you so much!
An friend of mine in Dublin recommended the program, we had looked at trying to do the in-person one last time we were home but the timing didn’t quite work out for us. We also looked at the Canadian version but it seemed quite different and as we’re getting married in Ireland we wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing!
It’s a great program, the workbooks in particular were really helpful so we’ll definitely be recommending it to anyone over here that needs to do it!
Thank you so much for an absolutely excellent course today in Hilton hotel. I genuinely feel more confident now more than ever to take on the role of husband.!! It’s amazing the little gems of information that can be picked up along the way and it was great to chat to several other couples in the same situation. Thank you again to David for a most informative day excellently delivered.
Alan and Sandra.
Review / Analysis of Avalon Home Study Pre Marriage Course Liam Roe, M.A. S.T.B. Reg. F.T.A.I,. I.C.P. E.A.P. Family Therapist / Psychotherapist. Click here to read full article
“Assessment of the Avalon DVD Marriage Course. I worked in the Health Board for almost twenty-four years as a family therapist. I had a special interest in working with couples. Having the opportunity to view Mr. David Kavanagh’s DVD Pre-Marriage Course retreat programme… ” Click here to read full article
Ruth O’ Donnell Family Therapist.
“Hi we have compleated the online course and the certificate quiz. I also want to add that this service is fantastic. The fact that as a couple you can do the course in your own home with no pressure or embaressment while dissuccing your answers with each other is great and the tips given will be a great help to us as we enter into our married lifes. ”
Thank you very much Nicky & Jami.
We were late to attend Avalon course..but David recommended to order a dvd and do it at home.we found it very helpful and funny. While doing the workbooks we learnt a lot about each other and discuss our future life together more serious than we did before.
We really enjoyed it!!! The best thing is that we could do it in our own time and didn’t have to rush 🙂
We recommend Avalon dvd course for every couple out there, especially for those who are too busy to attend the course themselves.
Thank You Avalon !!
Barbara & Robert
“Thank you Avalon for creating such an inventive, affordable & time efficient way of doing a pre-marriage course. I was putting off booking a pre-marriage course because honestly I was very apprehensive at the thoughts of someone preaching to me about how to work my relationship, my marriage and my family. With work commitments and a young family getting the time off together to attend a course would be difficult. After speaking with Dave Kavanagh from Avalon he recommended the DVD pre-marriage course and well what can I say. The course is absolutely genius. We both have fun doing it and after years together we even learnt things about each other because of the workbooks. We done the course in our own time and had fun doing it. The content was down to earth, honest and current.
I cannot recommend the DVD/online course high enough. I would recommend it to everyone.”
Congratulations and well done Avalon.
Thanks, Hazel & Dave McCreery
“Having completed the Avalon programme we wanted to let you know how much we enjoyed the experience. It was very beneficial to be able to watch a DVD in our own home. We completed the booklets before watching the DVD and the interaction with each other was very amusing and loving especially when we discussed our answers. It was nice to sit down with no distractions and we really felt a close bond with each other when the course was completed.
We would highly recommend this Avalon online marriage course and thanks for sending our certificate so promptly.”
Keith Morrissey & Liz Kelly
“We found it good, and very useful….
During the discussion parts we really talked (and calmly!) and we listened to each other more so than any other time we had spoken about certain topics.
We knew all along that we had very very similar ideas about things but it was cemented more during the programme. We loved that it was at home and we could speak more comfortably.
I have recommended it to a few couples. ”
“We completed the course online today and the quiz. We really enjoyed doing the course and it reaffirms our suitability and strength as a couple.
We particularly enjoyed filling out the work books and doing the exercises together.”Thanks againRoisin and Andy
“It was very good, quite interesting actually.
I liked the way it had both male & female presenters.
Also it came across like ye really understood the normal issues in life for a couple.
We really enjoyed the work books as while the questions are not over developed
they do get you talking about issues like number of children etc.
I would sincerely like to thank you for giving us the opportunity to do the course from our home
and at a time that is convenient to us. With all the things that you have to do for a wedding on top of day to day life.
It makes things a lot easier.”
Thanks very much,
“After finishing our Avalon on line course we would like to thank you! It was great to be able to do it at home in our own time we also learnt a lot more about each other!!
We really enjoyed the work books it was fun to swap over our answers but also brought up a lot of discussions about our future that we never sat and talked about before!! The course has brought us closer together and confident in our relationship!!
We would highly recommend this course!!”
Thank you again…. Tara